Me: "Gentleman. Go get pajamas on and brush your teeth."
Amazingly I only had to say it once.
Five minutes later:
Me: "What is all over you!? What did you do?"
AJ: "Well. Umm. I was going pee. Uh, and I had an itch on my arm. Mom.... I peed on myself. And the floor. And the garbage can."
Me: "Are you serious? You peed on yourself? Who itches their arm while holding their junk?!!!"
That's right, it says AJ. Ayden Joshua. Not Keegan. Not the child that usually gives into the urge to scrub my shower tiles during unsupervised teeth brushing. It was the other one. The kid dubbed "Neutron" by his classmates. The kid who is always helping his friends in class. Not my most proud moment involving him. But my father was cracking up. He then went on to answer his own question. "I guess that is what you'll be writing about."